Aug. 17th, 2010

God, I seriously cannot believe level of writing that these (this certain) slash pairings' fangirls/boys use, considering that most, if not all of them, are older and supposedly far more sophisticated than the ones I've been used to from my BL fandoms. 

Honestly, marriage? Urple prose? Ridiculously jarring and sickening terms of endearment from characters and situations that so do not merit them? Descriptions so overdone and bad-middle-aged-women's-pulp-erotica-esque that it alternately makes one want to laugh out loud or remove one's brain with a fork? Mpreg? M-FUCKING-PREG I MEAN MY GOD PEOPLE.  This stuff would only just fly even in Gravitation, and that's only because Shuichi is Shuichi and canon is so crackily, wonderfully insane . 

And ohgod the writers themselves. Furries. People who think they're elves for godsakes. Or that they have paws and speak in some weird half-scotch, half-archaic, half-god-knows-what language. Owowowow my brain my BRAIN.

And this stuff I'm reading, and god it must be a metric tonne by now, is meant to be the cream of the crop. The winners of awards, published in famous, international fanzines to be recounted and revered for years on end. Lauded by all and sundry. But if they'd stuck it on, say, the Clampesque board circa 2002/3, they and their works would be systematically and bloodily decimated within, ooooh, 20 minutes at most. Ari Seishirou would have their eyeballs for breakfast. These fanfics are horrible. Awful. I'm sorry but they are actually ruining the series for me and I have no idea how anyone is taking them seriously in any way at all. They're worse than some of the stuff I read on, mired deep in the bowels of the Gundam Wing and Weiss Kreuz sections, many years ago. And that is saying something. It's not just me. The Loveless kink meme, the Bleach kink memes, the Saiyuki meme and I'm really picky about my pairings and characterisation in that fandom, hell, even the Gundam Seed kink meme and there's only like three responses to that,  all  of these are miles, miles better written and characterised and way less cliched  and bad-erotic-like that any of this stuff.

Where are all the good fics? The honest-to-god hot fics that aren't peppered with ludicrous endearments and even more bizarre metaphors for male genitalia. And actually have the seme/uke my preferred way round. ONE story that I really, really like and is really, really, really hot (in my opinion) and hits my tastes. ONE GODDAMNED STORY, perhaps three or four at a push, is all I have to show for, what must be verging on three weeks (?) now in arguably the largest slash fandom, not merely on the net but in the Western world, and certainly oficially the most longstanding. GOD PEOPLE.



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